Joey Essex, probably the only person in the world who wears two watches and still can’t tell the time
I once dated a man who spent more time and money caring for his cuticles and shaping his eyebrows than I did.
Now, whilst I’m a strong advocate of men maintaining some kind of structured hygiene routine which amounts to more than just brushing their teeth and changing their underwear once a day, there are limits.
Over the last few years, there seems to have been a rise in so-called ‘metrosexuality’- heterosexual men who have adopted what is considered to be the fashions -and sometimes characteristics- often associated with women. The term ‘metrosexual’ was coined by writer Mark simpson in his 1994 article ‘Here Come the Mirror Men: Why The Future is Metrosexual’ and over the years, has gained popularity for describing the above.
This rise in metrosexuality amongst the heterosexual male population seems to be all the more encouraged by the likes of celebrities such as Justin Bieber- who I am 99% certain actually has a vagina- and joey essex, that stupid guy off the telly who is famous for being… a stupid guy on telly. These ‘guys’, who have somehow managed to amass huge fan bases, are regularly spotted wearing skinny jeans tighter than a camels arse in a sandstorm, toting designer label ‘manbags’ and maintaining that I ‘just holidayed for 3 years in kenya’ umpa lumpa tan glow.
And it’s not just celebrities who are advertising metrosexuality but the fashion and beauty industry, who have obviously realised this gap in the market which they can and must of course cater for. Just look online and you will find skin products now aimed at the more feminine men, make-up- yes, there are some men who are now contouring and highlighting for that night out on the town- and even… wait for it…. tights. Unless my date is auditioning for the nutcracker and does actually himself own a pair of nuts, I don’t think I want to see him in tights.
Justin Bieber modelling what I can only assume is NATO’s 2020 metrosexual space wear.
I promise I don’t personally have anything against metrosexual’s, in fact I’m all for encouraging expressionism through fashion and if it makes a man happy to look good and feel good then you go girl/guy!
But at the same time, I don’t want to be with a man who pies off rugby and beer with the lads so he can stay at home baking delicately hand-decorated cupcakes whilst watching- and quoting- every episode of sex and the city through teary eyes.
When I think about my future husband/trevor noah/father of my future children/trevor noah/the man I will spend the rest of my life with/trevor noah I think of a rather strange scenario:
I imagine that me and future husband/trevor noah have, after an unfortunate and severe plane crash, landed on a remote desert island. I think to myself, ‘would this man be able to seek out food and water, build us a waterproof hut and single-handedlyy fight off a pack of bloody thirsty lions all whilst wearing underwear made out of bamboo shoots- and still look hot?!
Okay, maybe thats a little extreme and the likelihood of any bears living on a remote tropical island are pretty slim- unless its bear grylls. But still, I do look for strong signs of masculinity with a small underlay of femininity, enough to be emotional and caring when needed but not too much so that I start to question my own gender identity in the relationship.
So when did masculinity become so feminine?
There are several reasons behind the rise in a more feminine generation of men, from social pressures to look attractive (as deemed by society), to movies showing us a different kind of ‘hero’ male lead- one who is immaculately dressed and well groomed. However, I can’t help but feel that it may possibly be something more to do with females who due to competition on the career front, have had to adopt more masculine personalities themselves. This go-getter, ‘i won’t take shit from any male or female and i’ll have kids when I’m good and ready and progressed in my career’ attitude may have somehow inadvertently caused us to switch gender roles and traits. Women are becoming more competitive and intimidating- not afraid to get what they want- and it’s not just in regards to their career but within the dating game too.
So to finish, freedom of expression and thus metrosexuality- I’m all for it. But just try to find and maintain the right balance between masculinity and femininity. The majority of today’s women still want to be able to look at their partner and identify the traits we typically- if not subconsciously- associate with men- strength, safety, security and sexy as fuck.